Different Like Me

Isabella has some Big Issues going on, has for years, but it came to a head this year and we are getting her some help that she needs for her anxiety and other things. Unfortunately, she has been resistive at home to implementing some of the things we have been told to try for her sensory issues and her anxiety.

I cannot believe it took me until today to figure out the reason why. She had wanted the help, she has reacted positively right after the conversations with the therapists, she tells me they help when we do them, yet other times at home, she resists these completely. Well, except for the one strategy that has her earning a Really Cool Reward. That one she is all about doing.

Today, as she said that she did not want to implement a visual coping strategy if her friend came over, it hit me. She does not want to feel different, to have her peers realize what she is coping with. A few quiet questions confirmed this.

What could I say? She is different, but everyone has differences. We talked a little about what makes her different, what makes her siblings different, what makes me different, but still it didn't help much because they were not, as she said, "different like me". Today, more than any other day in my parenting career, I was thankful for the amazing community of parents I have known online in the last decade and their openness in sharing their lives and the lives of their children over the years. I was able to tell her about children who have the same issues she does or even more severe ones. Being able to talk about real people with real names was concrete and helped so much more than the abstract "there are lots of people with this."

Still, it breaks my heart to watch her struggle.

I just wish I could wrap her up and kiss it better like a skinned knee or stubbed toe.