It is here! Woohoo! My digital SLR is here! I had a really nice closing last week, and the Sony A100 is now mine, complete with a lovely little accessory kit. *happy dance* Now, to see how much I have forgotten and how much I still remember. Methinks I should look for a free online photography course or a book from the library.

I have also enrolled in a course to earn my Eco-broker designation for real estate. I like to cruise through coursework at a good clip, so between studying, playing with the SLR, the kids and work (two more closings in the next 3 weeks to finalize), I am not sure how much I'll be around online.

Are you in the upper Midwest? Come to the Kickapoo Country Fair this weekend. Amy, pull Phil out of the house and come up for a day or weekend. It isn't too far from LaCrosse! Tell Shelley to come; I'd love to meet the baby and see her again. {Okay, enough being pushy...}

We went a few years ago and had a wonderful day. We will be there again this year along with our friends who will be conducting the Approaches to Sustainable Living; Independence 101 workshop. We will also be staying at their cabin in the woods, enjoying a peaceful weekend. We spend time there every year and always have a relaxing time.

Every night, after the kids have been asleep for a while, I will check on them, retuck them in and kiss them. I never quite know how I will find Vincent.

First, he is such a wiggler in his sleep that I have found his feet on his pillow. I have also found him sideways, head against the wall and his feet and legs draped over the edge. He is almost 5 now and we still keep the bedrail up most nights because he can wiggle right out of bed without it.

Then there is the question of what did he stash in his bed this time. He tends to slip out of bed after being tucked in, grab something to play with and fall asleep with it. I'll often find his flashlight clutched in his hand, sometimes with a stack of books underneath him. I have found his wrench and pliers under his pillow on multiple occasions; thanks goodness there were only screws with them once. When Simon was newly born, I found Vincent sound asleep with his paper and glitter St Patrick's Day crown on his head. Last night I found him snuggling with our missing cordless telephone. In the morning, he questioned me accusingly about its whereabouts.

Tonight, I found him sleeping with his lower half inside of his pillowcase like he was in a potato sack race. I so wish I had a camera to take a picture of this one. I called Luis to tell him about it, and we had a good giggle over it. Vincent is such a little goofball.

Things that made me smile today:

~ Abigail's look of concentration and pride as she steered the boat in the river today. She even successfully navigated through some trees without any help from Luis.
~ Simon leaning forward to reach for Luis, a huge grin on his face, when Luis came into his field of view.
~ Irish cream iced mocha
~ Vincent looking like a little surfer dude. He was wearing green abstract print swimming suit, olive green flip flops and a candy necklace with his hair a little long and a heck of a tan (he has Luis's skin tone and tans so easily).
~ spending time with my family with no one else around.
~ Isabella deciding to create a "star chart", essentially a reward chart. She heard about them from a friend. She drew one up, told me how it worked and said it would be for her not waking me up at night. Um, no. She has only woken me up a handful of times in the last 6 months. We decided that it would be for hissy fits. If she goes half a day without a hissy fit, she gets a gold star. She can earn two stars a day. If she gets 14 stars in a row, she'll get a nail polish, and if she gets sixty stars in a row, she'll earn $20 to spend any way she wants at Old Navy. We are 3/4 of the way through day one and hissy fit free. Considering her behaviour as of late, this is a Good Thing.
~ Riding the moped. I always feel about 14 years old again when I get on the Spree. It's fun to ride around town, wind in my hair.
~ My decision that our trip to Great America's homeschool day will be a two day get away. We'll take the kids to Shedd Aquarium, ride the metrarail and free trolley, splash in the fountains, walk the shoreline downtown, stay in a hotel. It should be a great time. I'd like to go to the Art Institute, but they would probably like the aquarium more, and I don't want to squish too much into a day. Maybe I should push Luis for two days downtown plus Great America...

I have decided get rid of our front yard. It is small anyways, only about 20 feet by 10 feet. I'm going to put in a path and landscape it with perennials, herbs and bushes. This will be a long term project, but phase one will start next spring. Maybe I'll do away with the terrace grass too. I always love the look of yards that consist of landscaping like this when I see them in magazines or real life, and there is simply no reason I cannot create this. It will be a work in progress, and I have given myself permission to have it take a few years to get established. My perfectionist tendencies get in the way of things like this sometimes.

About 5 years ago this time of year, I was driving in the country and had to stop because I happened upon a vista that was a living definition of deep summer. That image has been in my head ever since, and I revisit the mental snapshot every so often.

It was hot, so hot that the heat made the air visible as it shimmered in waves. The girls and I were driving along a quiet country road, one of those narrow roads that you drive down the middle of because is really only one and a half lanes. We rounded a corner by an abandoned pasture bordered a three strand barbed wire fence, and nature murmured “summer” in my ear. I stopped the van and just sat there, soaking up the image, storing the mental postcard. The wildflowers were in full bloom; the bright bands of color snaked through long grasses that were bending slightly under the weight of full seed heads. Ancient trees with gnarled branches stood sentinel by a meandering creek. There was no noise from traffic, nothing from the human world hit my ears except the quiet breathing of my napping girls, yet the air was alive with sounds. It actually hummed. There was a cacophony of buzzing and singing from the bees, field crickets and grasshoppers. I sat as long as I could, listening, smelling and watching.

I have been reminded of that afternoon often in the last few days as I have been in the car much more than usual. The country roadsides and wild areas I have been driving past are alive with wide swaths of color – purple and white phlox, orange ditch lilies, white queen anne’s lace, bright yellow rubeckia, dry yellow-brown seed heads on the grasses and about a million shades of green. How to describe summer green? It is the brilliant green of the soybeans, the dry green of the underside of the reaching corn stalks, the yellow green of the grasses and drying oats, the deep green of oaks and maples, the silvery green of birch and aspen all blending together like daubs of paint in an Impressionist painting.

Each season, each moment, in the natural world has a way of reaching out and assaulting my senses. I often say that I favor spring and fall, but there is something amazing about abundance and overload of deep summer. Lay back in your hammock, drink a cool lemonade with fresh mint floating in it, and be part of the natural world. Soak in the sights, sounds and smells that make this time of year unique. I am.

I took a photo essay that other day, before my camera broke, for a website I frequent. I thought I'd share it here. It was supposed to be a day in my life, but thanks to the camera breaking, it is 23 hours in my life.

A Day in My Life

Some of the lighting is wonky because the flash was broken on our camera already before I dropped it. I lightened the pictures up when necessary, but that made them grainy.

I am not a mother who will give my kids the last bite of my food. No, not going to happen.

When I enjoy a meal, I will eat in a way that saves the best bits for last. I like to leave my meal with the Perfect Bite, the bite that combines the best of the dish. It might be a bite of peach pie that combines the fruit and filling with the perfect ratio of crust. It could be a bite of sandwich that has a crusty edge of the bread, lettuce, tomato and the roast beef all in proportion or a few noodles covered in alfredo with a small broccoli floret and a single scallop. It is the bite that sums up the meal or the dessert perfectly. If the entree and sides are both wonderful, I will rotate eating them, leaving a bit of my favorites to end with and mentally plan out the order to eat the final bites in.

Reading this, I sound completely compulsive and absurd, but really I am not. Life is okay if I do not get my Perfect Bite, but I do enjoy finishing with it. The kids had better back off though, because I will not share it. If they ask early enough in the meal, I will share a bit, but that last bite is mine.

{If I hadn't broken my camera, I would have included a picture of the final bite of a dessert here. Use your imagination. Hey, since you are imagining, why don't you picture a piece of lime green Fiestaware (I love that stuff) scattered artfully with pie crust crumbs and just one remaining bite of blueberry pie (the blue would look so nice with the lime of the plate) with a heavy silver fork perched next to the bite. Maybe imagination is a good thing!}

A few entries back, I mentioned that I have a bee in my bonnet for a digital SLR camera. Guess what I did today. Dropped the point and shoot, breaking the LCD screen. I swear it was an accident, really!

Strangely, I am sad. I cannot take any pictures until we do buy the SLR. I will miss how compact the point and shoot was; being able to slip it into my pocket or the sling was nice. We had also intended to give it to Abigail once we bought the SLR. Her camera takes awful pictures, even accounting for her age. Now, we cannot do that.

The bigger issue is that I am afraid. It has been so many years since I took pictures with a real camera. Seriously, it has been close to two decades. I was just a kid last time I played around with lenses, light readings and film speed. What if I do not remember how?

What if we chose the wrong camera? The digital SLR cameras cost quite a little chunk of change. Can I be certain I'm getting the best camera for me money? I have it narrowed down to three choices (I think), but deciding will be hard.

What if my pictures are terrible? I am scared that something that has always brought me joy will now bring stress and disappointment.

Fear. Joy. Sadness. Who could have guessed that dropping a little two inch by three inch gadget could trigger so many emotions?

A few weeks ago, I started writing an entry that took on a life of its own. Every once in a while, that happens. I start writing about one thing and before I know it, the entry morphs into something completely unintended. This one was about my sister, and I hesitated to post it because I know she reads my blog. I saved a copy of it, and skipped posting an entry that day.

Today I was talking with Luis about something altogether different when I thought again of that unposted entry. I realized I was being stupid. Why on earth would I not want my sister to know the things I wrote about? It was deeply personal, but I would have posted it without a second thought had I not known that she reads this blog. If I am able to tell the internet world that I love my sister and am proud of her, I should be able to tell her.

I love you, Squirt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My relationship with my sister has evolved over the years. When we were kids, I’m certain she thought I hated her. I was cruel to her in the way children and siblings are to each other. To be honest, I was jealous of her. She is naturally athletic, coordinated and socially at ease, all things I never have been. In school, I saw her interacting easily with her peers and I had to bear the gym teacher’s constant comments, things like “Your sister did 100 sit-ups in the (presidential fitness) test; how many will you do?” Looking back, I realize that she probably had crosses to bear of her own with following me academically, but I never thought about that back then.

With a three year age difference and four years between us in school, we have often been in different stages of life. I was in college when she was in high school. When I was a newlywed and young mother, she was in college herself and doing internships. In the last few years, we are finally in similar places – working, married, home owners, settling in to our community. In short, adults.

Our relationship has matured along with us. My sister is a valued friend. I enjoy spending time with her, and I hope she enjoys being around me too. She is still athletic, coordinated and more social than I am, but I am at peace with that. I know my talents lie elsewhere, and I am thankful she is around to teach my children to bump a volleyball. I am proud to call her my sister. She helps people both in her occupation as a therapist and in her business. She uses that outgoing, social manner to make a difference in people’s lives and for the earth.

I really love the adult she has become and I am so thankful she is in my life.

My mother recently invited me to hear a guest speaker at her library. She thought the speaker, John Francis, was someone I would enjoy hearing. After she told me about him, I agreed with her, but I was unable to go that evening. Mom went to his lecture, and she bought a copy of his book, which she lent to me this week. I started reading it earlier today.

Mr. Francis lives on the coast in California. He was deeply affected by an oil spill in the early '70s, and he made a decision to stop using transportation methods that rely upon petroleum. Instead, he began walking everywhere. It started out with only one day, but it ended up being for twenty-two years. Along the way, he decided to stop talking, again just for one day. He remained silent for seventeen years.

Have you ever spent a silent day? I actually have. It is an experience that opens oneself to the world around.

Back in college, before getting married, I would have many days where I'd be driving home from school and realize that I hadn't spoken with anyone all day. I always took morning and early afternoon classes, so I would be up and gone before my mother. If my sister was at our father's home, I often would not talk before leaving the house. Being a shy person, I didn't make friends in many of my classes until my degree program started in my junior year. I would sit silently though lectures, enjoy my lunch in peace in the Union or the upstairs lounge in the Educational Sciences building, working on the Daily Cardinal crossword puzzle. I listened to others talk as I walked from class to class or waited for lectures to start. Every once in a while, schedules would work out in a way that I didn't connect with my family or Luis, and I ended up not talking at all in a day.

I enjoyed being alone with my thoughts. I was more aware of the world when I was silent. Don't get me wrong, talking with a friend during a walk is enjoyable. However, you don't notice as many things as you do when you are silent. The sights, sounds and texture of the world are different when you interact with it quietly. It is like the difference between snapping a picture and taking a photograph. The latter requires you to slow down and take more notice of the subject and surroundings.

Nowadays, I have four children clamoring for my attention and responses during the day and a career that sometimes glues a cell phone to my ear. I occasionally long for those silent days. I imagine that is part of the reason I enjoy the quiet alone hours after the kids are in bed. This blog is even part of that quiet. It is a conversation I can have without any spoken words, a place for me to share thoughts that I never would or could share verbally.

I wonder if the children are old enough to spend part of the day in silence? I suspect Vincent would still jabber away, but I think the girls could do it for a couple of hours. It could be interesting to open up their eyes to a different facet of the world around them.

We had such fun at The Reunion!
The little electric CitiCar is a hoot! I swear there are golf carts larger than it is. Can you imagine driving this around the city? Our friends found it for sale last year, brought it home and have been fixing it up with help from other friends. It will soon be making regular trips to our town with our friends behind the wheel.

Every year, there is a project to be completed. In previous years, it has been installing a composting toilet, building an arbor, putting up the solar shower. The project for the year was putting up an array for recharging the battery of the CitiCar using solar power. It will also be backup for the electrical systems in the strawbale greenhouse, where some of the only paypaya trees in Wisconsin currently grow.

The kids had a great time catching up with friends they only get to see once a year. Even though some of them hadn't seen each other in about 360 days, they were all running around together playing within about 30 seconds of arrival.

We always picnic at a park in the woods near our friends' home. The kids play bumper cars on the tire swings, jump over the little creek and whack at a pinata. To our eternal amusement, the candy always is collected in old Johnny Walker Black Label bags. Adults lounge around, play frisbee or (new this year) horseshoes, swing on the bench swing and nap in the shade.

Not for the faint of heart is the outdoor shower heated by the sun. As you can see, strategic towel placement may be necessary when taking a solar shower, but it works and is quite fun. It is a refreshing way to clean off during a summer day. If you have never taken a shower outside, try it sometime. There is nothing quite like it. Pulling the handle unleashes the light rain to sluice off dirt and sweat on a hot day as you look out onto the vivid summer world and hear the birds in the distance. I wonder what the neighbors would say if we installed on in our back yard?

All from scratch, the food is fresh and delicious. Fresh garden salads, fluffy pancakes, delicious bread, fresh cinnamon rolls, just picked raspberries and more satisfied our hunger and tasted all the better for the conversations we enjoyed while eating them. Lisa has a true gift for desserts and this years lemon-raspberry trifle and chocolate torte were no exception, though the classic mocha cake was missed. Check out her new cookbook for inspiration! Speaking of cookbooks, this is another good one. One of our Reunion friends has recipes in it and introduced us to it a few years back.

The farm setting is beautiful with abundant flowers and greenery. There are large beds of perennial flowers mixed in with herbs, and the vegetable gardens spread out on either side of the raspberry patch. This year, the squash and gourd vines were taking over thanks to a five year old's enthusiasm while planting. It speaks volumes about our friends that instead of ripping out the excess vines spreading everywhere, they simply built structures to hold them and improvised twine supports to take them over the sidewalk.


Imagine chatting with old and new friends in the outdoor cantina after a wonderful dinner, sipping blackberry sangria and listening to live music played by a local quartet as night settles, the fireflies dance and lightening flashes in the distance. It was simple perfection that is not simple to pull off. I love my friends for taking the energy and time to organize this every year.