Birthdays

I used to really enjoy birthdays. I loved the little quirky "happy birthday" things people did for one another, enjoyed making a little card or finding a neat way to wish someone another enjoyable year. Then I got married. DH's family is very structured and traditional. His brother in particular cannot handle any break from their family traditions. Since they are immigrants, they have never had extended family to work around and established specific traditions for holidays and birthdays. Birthdays must be celebrated on the actual birthday. Everyone gathers and goes out for dinner, then returns to M/FIL's house for cake and presents. If the birthday falls on a weekend, gathering in the afternoon and going out for a long drive together is before dinner is preferred. A present must be bought, not handmade, but no one in DH's family will give us any ideas of what they want. Ever tried to buy a present for a single 43 yr old man who buys anything he needs when he needs it, or a 65 yr old woman who has more stuff than she'll ever use????

Now this celebration was okay when we lived 10 minutes away and before we had kids. When we moved here, almost an hour away, we asked that the birthday be celebrated on the weekend, because it was a hard for Luis to go out to dinner in Madison during the week because of how late we'd get home. He'd be so tired, and we'd have to drive two vehicles home. We also asked that dinner be earlier, not leaving the house at 6:30 to go to the restaurant, but actually eating by 6:30. The kids got/get hungry and grumpy. Plus eating that late meant we didn't even get back to M/FIL's for the requisite cake and presents until the kids' bedtime. Fun. MIL and FIL agreed to our request because, well, we didn't actually give them a choice. BIL on the other hand would rather celebrate his birthday without us if it falls in the week rather than deviate from "tradition". Okeydokey.

I dwell on this really badly at this time of year. It just becomes too much because BIL's bday is just before Mother's Day and FIL's bday is just before Father's Day. Rather than combination celebrations, we are expected to make seperate trips into Madison for each. {MIL and FIL would FREAK if we weren't there on their Mother's/Father's Day} So today we have to drive into Madison to celebrate BILs bday, the kids will probably be up too late because the ILs do their damndest to keep us there as long as possible, they'll be overtired and grumpy meaning a long night for me. Then tomorrow we'll have to drive in again to celebrate Mother's Day seperately. Fun. Yep, Happy Mother's Day to me.

I tell ya, the obligations DH's family puts onto us for these days has really soured me on them. Call me Scrooge, but they aren't fun for me (or DH) any longer.