Ya know, I don't like Mother's Day much. I have very low expectations for *my* Mother's Day. Even with that, today sucked. The part of today that was actually *mine* consisted of doing my Pilates tape, taking a shower and exchanging Isabella's swimsuit at Old Navy. Big freaking whoop.

Okay, to be fair, we did go out for Chinese on Friday too, as part of my Mother's Day.

I'm glad MIL had a good day. I really am. But it was supposed to be my freaking day too, wasn't it?

Mother's Day of Peace

I'm not big on Mother's Day. It's a day that has too many obligations, seems contrived and fake. I like the idea of Mother's Day, but the way it's celebrated - buy the card, flowers and a present, and of course one must go visit one's mother if one lives within a reasonable distance - bothers me. It ought to be enough to honor one's Mother any day, any way.

A woman I know who feels similarly sent me the following email, and I really enjoyed it:

...a few years ago I learned about the origin of Mother's Day and found that it was indeed a concept I could fully endorse. It had nothing to do with gifts, cards, timely phone calls, or breakfast in bed. Julia Ward Howe, of "Battle Hymn of the Republic" fame, owns another great accomplishment. After closely experiencing some of the worst effects of the Civil War, working with families and orphans on both sides of the conflict, and feeling appalled at the death and destruction, she determined that promoting peace and peaceful resolutions was one of the two most important issues in the world (the other being equality).

She called for women to come together across national lines, to recognize what we hold in common above what divides us, commit to finding peaceful resolutions to conflicts, and to oppose war in all forms. She issued a declaration, hoping to gather women together in a congress of action.

She failed in her attempt to get formal recognition for her Mother's Day of Peace, but another woman, Anna Jarvis, picked up the cause. Upon the death of her activist mother, Anna Jarvis vowed to continue the work her mother had begun, which was similar in objective to Julia Ward Howe's work. She worked to found a memorial day for women, and the first such Mother's Day was celebrated in West Virginia in 1907. It spread eventually to 45 states, and in 1914 President Woodrow Wilson officially declared the first national Mother’s Day.

Recalling Julia Ward Howe's declaration now, in light of current events worldwide and particularly here at home, gives me a personal and solid reason to embrace Mother's Day. I do not wish for gifts and cards; I am fortunate to know that my children love me and do not need a special day set aside to coerce them into telling me so. What I can celebrate is a day where women decide to put their differences aside and come together for a greater common good, the promotion of peace and peaceful resolution.

It is okay to celebrate as you always have, to celebrate mothers everywhere in your own personal ways. But this Mother's Day, I encourage all mothers - all women! - everywhere to also take a moment to send their energy, thoughts, meditations and prayers out to the world, so that we may remember that what we have in common is far greater than our differences, and so that the world may know peace.

Julia Ward Howe's Declaration reads:

Arise then... women of this day!
Arise, all women who have hearts!
Whether your baptism be of water or of tears!

Say firmly:
"We will not have questions answered by irrelevant agencies,
Our husbands will not come to us, reeking with carnage, for caresses and applause.
Our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn
All that we have been able to teach them of charity, mercy, and patience.
We, the women of one country, will be too tender of those of another country,
To allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs."

From the voice of a devastated Earth a voice goes up with our own.
It says: "Disarm! Disarm! The sword of murder is not the balance of justice."

Blood does not wipe out dishonor, Nor violence indicate possession.
As men have often forsaken the plough and the anvil at the summons of war,
Let women now leave all that may be left of home
For a great and earnest day of counsel.

Let them meet first, as women, to bewail and commemorate the dead.
Let them solemnly take counsel with each other as to the means
Whereby the great human family can live in peace...
Each bearing after his own time the sacred impress, not of Caesar, but of God --

In the name of womanhood and humanity, I earnestly ask
That a general counsel of women without limit of nationality,
May be appointed and held at someplace deemed most convenient
And the earliest period consistent with its objects,
To promote the alliance of the different nationalities,
The amicable settlement of international questions,
The great and general interests of peace.

Here's to a Mother's Day of Peace.

Birthdays

I used to really enjoy birthdays. I loved the little quirky "happy birthday" things people did for one another, enjoyed making a little card or finding a neat way to wish someone another enjoyable year. Then I got married. DH's family is very structured and traditional. His brother in particular cannot handle any break from their family traditions. Since they are immigrants, they have never had extended family to work around and established specific traditions for holidays and birthdays. Birthdays must be celebrated on the actual birthday. Everyone gathers and goes out for dinner, then returns to M/FIL's house for cake and presents. If the birthday falls on a weekend, gathering in the afternoon and going out for a long drive together is before dinner is preferred. A present must be bought, not handmade, but no one in DH's family will give us any ideas of what they want. Ever tried to buy a present for a single 43 yr old man who buys anything he needs when he needs it, or a 65 yr old woman who has more stuff than she'll ever use????

Now this celebration was okay when we lived 10 minutes away and before we had kids. When we moved here, almost an hour away, we asked that the birthday be celebrated on the weekend, because it was a hard for Luis to go out to dinner in Madison during the week because of how late we'd get home. He'd be so tired, and we'd have to drive two vehicles home. We also asked that dinner be earlier, not leaving the house at 6:30 to go to the restaurant, but actually eating by 6:30. The kids got/get hungry and grumpy. Plus eating that late meant we didn't even get back to M/FIL's for the requisite cake and presents until the kids' bedtime. Fun. MIL and FIL agreed to our request because, well, we didn't actually give them a choice. BIL on the other hand would rather celebrate his birthday without us if it falls in the week rather than deviate from "tradition". Okeydokey.

I dwell on this really badly at this time of year. It just becomes too much because BIL's bday is just before Mother's Day and FIL's bday is just before Father's Day. Rather than combination celebrations, we are expected to make seperate trips into Madison for each. {MIL and FIL would FREAK if we weren't there on their Mother's/Father's Day} So today we have to drive into Madison to celebrate BILs bday, the kids will probably be up too late because the ILs do their damndest to keep us there as long as possible, they'll be overtired and grumpy meaning a long night for me. Then tomorrow we'll have to drive in again to celebrate Mother's Day seperately. Fun. Yep, Happy Mother's Day to me.

I tell ya, the obligations DH's family puts onto us for these days has really soured me on them. Call me Scrooge, but they aren't fun for me (or DH) any longer.

The chicken coop is done. Luis did manage to find everything that we needed (except screws) by driving around on Trash Days. Today he even found a full 4x8' sheet of plywood, uncut, for the roof. I couldn't believe it. Everything is painted and the roof is shingled. Luis just has to finish up the chicken wire around the run, and then we are ready. The pullets (currently named Buffy, Ginger and Annie, but that could change) are due to arrive on Tuesday. The kids are so excited, and so am I. :)

Have I mentioned that Isabella started dance through Park & Rec? She had her second class this weekend and loves it. She looks miserable the entire time, but she is actually enjoying it tremendously.

I'm glad May is here. April is a *dead* month for PBK, always has been. I'm looking forward to doing more work again. The lack of orders leads to an April Doldrums for me, and I become really lethargic about PBK stuff. I need to get to work on the the new catalog pages, add a couple of new items, return emails more promptly.